Hi, I’m Jini. And I’m gonna kick-off the very first podcast by telling you a story, maybe a couple of stories that really illustrate a principle I’ve come to see as one of the things I know for sure, for sure, for sure is true. And that is, that the body is the densest part of the soul. The body is the subconscious.
So, contrary to many spiritual traditions, the body is not separate from the soul. The body is not just this vehicle that the soul rides around in. It’s not just this shell that, you know, our goal is to transcend this weak limited body into the fullness of spiritual potential. If we wanted to do that, we could just stay in Oneness.
We don’t– why would we incarnate? And then spend a lot of our time here trying to be, trying to leave our carnate physical body? It just, logically it doesn’t make sense. And if we take the opposite view that we are not here to transcend our body, then it is not just a matter of us walking around inside this flawed physical structure, but that the body is the densest part of the soul.
And perhaps our goal here is to integrate every level and aspect of our mind, body and soul. So if you’re willing to allow that to be true, or just true for this podcast, I would like to share some stories with you about my experience of this phenomena, which I believe to be about as true as anything in this realm.
The story that’s top of mind for me today, is, I was, um, moving a horse trailer to my barn. And this was an incredibly difficult task. My husband was driving the trailer because I wouldn’t even attempt it. There’s no way on earth I can back that trailer through the narrow gate and down this terribly challenging barn road.
Um, no. And so he has done it before and this was a very, very freezing cold day. So anyway, long story shorter, we… it takes two hours. It takes two hours to back this trailer down about, uh, I would say a hundred meter barn road, not far at all. And the whole time I’m standing outside behind the trailer so that I can yell “Stop,” if he’s about to run into the fence on one side or off the edge into the ditch on the other, as it’s this extremely narrow road.
And I am freezing. I am getting, it’s a freak– we actually had a hailstorm. It is one of the coldest days it is, and then it rained. So we’ve got the damp cold. And I had said to him at one point, you know what, we’re far enough back, let’s park the trailer, let’s go home, let’s try again another day. And he was like, “No, I’m gonna do this.” Okay! So I go back out and I stand behind the trailer. We finally get the trailer parked, we get it all set up. We get the new arena panels fenced up for the horses. So they can, they can play in the trailer, but they can’t get out down the barn road.
And we’re doing the last thing, which is moving this super heavy rubber mat out of the way. And my husband’s pulling on one side and I’m pulling on the other and he gives a big heave-ho. And I get sent reeling backwards faster than I can get my legs under me, which is very strange because it didn’t feel like I was tripping. It felt like something was pushing me and I was pushed backwards and to the side, and I landed hard on my wrist to break my fall.
And I went down so hard, which again is very strange because I was already bent over. So it’s not like I was even falling from my full height. I went down so hard that the opposite side of my neck was strained. I had a little bit of a concussion. Like it was literally like a, a smack-down. So, I’m in the bath and I’m doing my arnica and I’m in a hot magnesium bath to relax all the muscles… I’m in the bath, and both my legs start cramping.
I’ve taken oral atom-sized magnesium, which is instantly absorbed through the lining of the mouth. I am lying in a hot bath filled with magnesium oil and Epsom salts. And I have both legs cramping. We have now superseded the physical body. We are out of the physical realm of possibility and into the land of messaging. The land of ‘the body is a messenger of the subconscious’, which is the higher self.
My soul is using my body to get a message to my mind. Okay? Because this is what we do. We split ourselves up. And for most of us humans, our mind runs the show. We’re not even aware that we have other intelligences that we’re not allowing and that we’re not using, because from childhood we were told, Oh! that’s just your imagination. It’s not real. All those, doorways and experiences of other intelligences and other layers of frequency, layers of reality, were shut down. Often with shame, often with a punishment, especially if we came from a religious family. So we, we unequivocally shut those down. Now, they’re not gone, everything is still there.
It can be reactived. It can be accessed. And again, I believe that’s part of the reason we incarnate, is to bring unity to the mind, body, soul, to move from this split and splintered way of being into wholeness. And that’s where the magic is possible. That’s when the fullness of what is possible in the third dimension begins to happen. When we unify the mind, body, soul.
So I’m in the hot tub and my both legs are cramping, like full on cramps. And I, I say, okay, fine, I’m listening. So I go into, I take my consciousness out of my mind, my tiny mind, and I place it in my legs. And I say, “my body is speaking to me. What is the message?” And as I tune into the message of cramping and spasming, it feels like cramps are a way of resisting what is, or resisting what needs to be. Our whole body being is curling, contracting into a massive “NO!”. And of course it doesn’t make sense. Right? A cramp doesn’t make sense. Who does it benefit? What is the purpose of it? I read that people have even broken bones from opposing muscles cramping. It’s not something that serves the body.
It is a giant contractual resistance, against what is, versus a surrender into looseness and flexibility. So that was the first insight that came to me. So looking at my life, what am I resisting? That is, or that wants to be? And instead of working with that, flowing with that, maybe I want to tap on it, do some acupressure tapping to release limitations around it. Instead I’m just contracting into a giant ball of “NO!”.
So that was the first piece. And then I went into my wrist. To go, okay, why did this happen? And as I went into, and again, I placed my consciousness in my wrist. I went back with an open heart from the body-based wisdom, to that moment of falling over. And that’s when I realized, that actually I feel like I was pushed.
I feel like some force pushed me and slammed me. So what is that? And that’s when I recalled the one other time in my life where I have felt the same force pushing me over and it was on a sidewalk. So, here’s what happened that time. I had been giving a presentation, a lecture, like information, at a healing seminar in Vancouver.
And I have been, I have been performing, speaking, acting on stage since I was nine years old. I have no fear whatsoever of performing or of presenting. I’ve performed in front of thousands, tens and thousands of people at, you know, huge gatherings and rallies and stuff. So that is not a fear of mine, but it is a place I have not been guided, to be active in.
So I will only give, a lecture presentation, if it can be videotaped and then disseminated to the masses. So, that was the parameter I set for doing this talk and they were like, fine, we’ll hire a professional videographer and you’ll have the video. And I’m like, okay, I’ll do it then.
So, this was a talk sponsored by a local pharmacy and a couple of supplement manufacturers. And so I went there and I walked into the room and there were about, maybe 60 people there, all with severe Crohn’s, colitis. And the energy in the room was so bad. It was so negative. It was, it was just toxic. And I thought to myself, you guys are going to ruin my video!
And so I started my presentation, but I used my own energy to raise the vibration in that room. I took all of those people and I pushed them up and I held them there, because I can. And I got my video, my video was great. And it has since gone out to over a quarter million people, which is, that’s great.
But see, look what I did. I walked into the thing and I said, this is not okay. I need to change this. I’m not surrendering to “what is”, I’m not being flexible to “what is”, I’m like, this is not what I wanted. This is not my idea of what is gonna make a good video that people are gonna enjoy. So I am going to change this.
I’m going to use the force of my will and my ability and my strength to alter this reality. And I did, but at what cost to my precious body? Which is the densest part of my soul, is the messenger of my soul.
So the talk finishes and I’m driving out with my friend and we go, oh, let’s just go get a Starbucks. This is in the day when Starbucks was natural and not loaded with artificial and nasty ingredients. And so it was really busy in the city, so she couldn’t park. So she just pulled over and I got out to go and run in and she would circle the block and pick me up. I get out of the car, I’m just trotting to Starbucks and that’s when I start falling.
And it, I can’t get my legs under me. I am literally, it’s like something is pushing me to the ground and I fall down on the sidewalk and I’m like, “What??” And I, I stumble, get myself back up to my feet, go in to get my Starbucks. And I was like, what just happened there? So I get in the car, I’m talking to my, my girlfriend, who’s also psychic.
And she said, “That was the strangest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” I said, “Right?” Like I did not trip. There was nothing on the sidewalk. It’s like, I just started falling. Like something was pushing me and we dialogued about it. And we realized, I realized, that that was the consequence of me not listening to my body during that presentation.
And instead, I allowed my mind to drive the bus – my mind with its preconception that this reality was not okay. And that it needed to be changed. And I was the one to change it, because I could. And I didn’t ask my body, didn’t feel into what is, or what wanted to be, did not approach the situation from any kind of higher or integrated wisdom.
And that was the price, the price that I paid for doing something that was not actually in alignment with my highest self and with my deepest wisdom, was to literally be smacked down afterwards. Don’t do that again. Very bad idea. And I got the message at that time, and I’ve not used my energy that way since, but here was the second instance.
It had just happened again, out at the barn. What had I been doing? So. I knew that my body was not okay to stand on that freezing cold barn road, just standing. I’m not doing anything. I’m just standing there freezing for two hours. And I had said to Ian, let’s go home. So I did speak for my body. I advocated for my body, but I didn’t follow it through.
And when Ian said, “NO, I’m going to do this.” At that point, I did my default setting that I’ve done my whole life, that is what needs to change, and this is what my body is messaging me about. Okay. At that point, when Ian said, “NO, I’m going to do this.” I immediately assumed that I had to help him because that’s what I do.
I am a healing facilitator. I am a freedom facilitator. I am a ‘get big and live your best life’ facilitator. So if you state very firmly, ‘I want to do this.’ I’m like, okay, let’s do it. But guess what? That’s against my own body wisdom. That’s against the guidance of my higher self and my deepest wisdom. Not okay.
So what I should have said in retrospect, I should have said to Ian, okay, well, I can’t stand out in the cold anymore, so I’m going to sit here in the warm truck and you can just keep, if you think you’re getting close to the fence, you can hop out and check.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in this situation. If you can understand how monumental that is, because you see, I was working from an entire set of assumptions that Ian would not be able to back that trailer without my help. Telling myself, that I was indispensable. Telling myself, there was no other way, other than for me to sacrifice my wisdom and my well-being to help another.
And the whole thing was a false construct, because here’s, here’s the kicker. Not only could Ian have done that by himself and I could have sat in the warm truck and been cozy, but by him being forced to get out of the truck and see where the trailer is, I can almost swear, he would have backed that trailer down faster!
Because I know for myself when I’m driving a trailer, if I get out and I keep checking where it is, it rearranges the schemata in my brain and I’m able to actually adjust and drive better. But I was so locked into this default paradigm that I have from my childhood, from a mother whose only way to get appreciation and love and to feel worthy, was to serve.
So that’s what I witnessed my whole life. Then I grew up in the Christian Church. “What would Jesus do?” This is a very strong tenet for anybody who’s been involved in the church or any kind of religion, where service is put forward as the highest possible – not just a goal to attain, but a form of spiritual enlightenment.
These are very strong patterns. These are very strong behavioral ruts to break. Because usually we’re not even aware that they’re there. We’re not even aware that we’re doing it. So, when I had this realization, okay, first of all, I abandoned my body, my soul, and gave that away to serve someone else. Because I thought, I had to. I thought, it was crucial.
I mean, I wanted to get that trailer backed down the barn road too, don’t forget. But by not, by refusing to set my own boundary when my body asked me to. I then set in motion, an entire sequence of events, that was less than optimal. If I had set that boundary, when my body first said, “We need to get out of the cold, it’s too cold, we can’t stand here anymore.” I would have, enabled, forced, Ian to rise.
And guess what? He can and he would have, and we probably would have backed the trailer faster. And I would not have damaged my wrist to the point where I can’t use it anymore. I would not have experienced massive leg cramps from standing out in the cold and having to receive a message that I was like, not even cluing into. All of this, downstream pain, suffering, inconvenience, could have been avoided.
If I had been willing to set the boundary my body/soul was asking for and by doing so allow others around me to rise. So that’s an extremely important part of this message from my body/soul. When you are a very capable person and you have a lot of personal strength, and you have a huge skillset, and you have a big heart. And you do everything and you help everyone, because you can…
Simultaneously, you are preventing them from having the opportunity to rise. Simultaneously, you are perhaps blocking them from something they need to experience, because you don’t want them to suffer. But what if they need to suffer? What if this is part of their path, what if their body, soul is like, we need the suffering so that we can move to the next level of integration, of freedom, of expression, of wholeness?
And you’re there, Nope! Nope! Nobody suffers when I’m around, because I have the ability to prevent suffering, to alleviate suffering, and that’s what I’m going to do! But you’re not at all tuning into and surrendering to what wants to happen, to what is. And so, I’m taking a step back and I’m going to reorganize the way I approach all of life.
I really need to not use my energy, to change reality. Unless I am guided by my body/soul/higher self/deepest wisdom to do so. Directly, specifically guided. I must not do it just because I can. And I must pay deeper attention to what is and what wants to happen and what might happen, if I just stepped out, or stepped to the side, and let the others find their way.
I have an assumption that it would be negative, that it wouldn’t go as well. That things wouldn’t get accomplished, that things wouldn’t get done, but those– that’s a boatload of assumptions. And what if maybe, just maybe, something more magical and more empowering could arise for the person or the situation?
And so after I had this realization, this download, and of course, as soon as I went into all this stuff, my cramps disappeared and my wrist is healing nicely, but it’s not going to heal fast. I could, but I realized that no, I need to not, because this is part of the help that my body is giving me to now follow through on the wisdom that I received.
I talked to my daughter and I said, okay – and I told her this download that I’ve just shared with you. And I said, when you see me doing this. I want you to use the code word, I want you to say “wrist”. And this is very helpful when we’re trying to change ingrained patterns of behavior or habits. Go to the people you live with, the ones closest to you, because they’ll see your shit.
They’ll call you on it. You can’t fool them, go to them and give them a code word and say, “When you see me doing this–” Right, because when you’re in the situation, if someone tries to explain to you what you’re doing, they’re probably just going to trigger you and you’re going to go into resistance. So that’s the magic of a code word, a code word that you both already know what it means.
So all they say is the code word. So when I’m trying to control a situation or use my prodigious powers to alter a situation – and my daughter perceives that that’s maybe not the best course, or that I’m, you know, it might be best to take a breath, or to surrender and to really feel in through my body wisdom as to what wants to happen here. She doesn’t have to say that whole thing. She just has to say, “wrist” and I go, oh, and I stop. And I go in and I assess.
I then went to my Oracle cards. I have a few decks that I like. And the one I looked at was called the Energy Oracle cards by Sandra Anne Taylor. And I just asked them, I said, you know, is there anything else I’ve missed from this download, this wonderful wisdom that I’ve received?
Is there anything missing, perhaps another aspect? Um, you know, let me know. And I picked the card called patience, which is interesting. It shows a beautiful angel holding a clock in the stillness of winter:
“When this card appears, it’s telling you to relax and let go of the single-minded desperation that’s been driving you. Don’t try to force your will on only one option. When you think there’s only one solution to satisfy your need or to make you happy, you are blocking many other potential solutions from coming your way. Let go of the anxiety and be flexible. Be patient, open and creative. Choose to be peaceful in the present. The universe has more options than you may be aware of. Quiet your mind, broaden your perspective and let them come through.”
This is why I freaking love Oracle cards! Like a total, you-can’t-make-this-shit-up moment, exact reiteration and confirmation of what I had received, to say, yes, you’re on track. Full speed ahead.
This is the opening to the next level of magnificence. This is the level, this is the opening to the next level of magic. Thank you for being with me on this little storytelling journey. And I hope some of these ideas and concepts are useful to you. Keep whatever you like. Chuck out whatever you don’t like and I’ll see you next episode.
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