Reclaiming Empowerment

I am so puzzled by women posting naked pictures of themselves on social media… Posed on a bed with a sultry look in their eyes. Or posed wearing lingerie and an expression that makes them look pretty and sexy, in the way that men’s magazines and calendars have typically posed women for decades.

And the women say that they are posting these photos to celebrate their empowerment: To take back the objectification of their bodies, the classification of the woman’s body as a sex object by the patriarchy. To celebrate their acceptance of their body and to stop searching for approval or validation from others.

I honestly do not understand how posting a picture of yourself that looks exactly like the pictures men have celebrated and jacked off to for decades, constitutes empowerment? How does posting a soft porn photo of yourself make any kind of statement against the patriarchy?

“Previously, power was a physical phenomena and whoever held the most physical power was in charge. But now knowledge is power and whoever holds the information, or the mis-information, is the most powerful. Particularly if this knowledge is subtle and under the radar and invisible.” – Bruce Lipton

When I see these kinds of posts I am saddened. Because I see the woman’s pain body speaking. I see it as a desperate attempt to claim back sovereignty over your own body. A bid to sweep away self-hatred with a grand gesture. And perhaps that has a place, but please do not mistake it for empowerment. Do not deceive yourself with cloaked language, and the rallying of your sisters who likewise feel disempowered or loathe their own bodies.

The women I know who are truly powerful realize their bodies are sacred. And their intimate relationships are sacred. They have no need or desire to objectify their body or their intimacy as any kind of statement or protest against anything.

They realize their power and their worth does not come from how beautiful or sexy their body appears. They realize that their beauty and empowerment comes from their authenticity, their joy, the wild freedom with which they live their lives to love fiercely, embrace their ecosystem, and carry the responsibility of actioning their giftings on this planet.

So if you want to post a sultry nude or sexual picture of yourself, go ahead! But please don’t say that you are doing it to empower yourself or other women. Or that it is any kind of statement against chauvinism or patriarchy.

Teenage boys and lonely men will ogle and masturbate to your photos. If you’re good with that, then have at it. There is no judgment here as each of us decides who and what we stand for, and what we want to put out there in the world. Most female pop stars make millions from portraying themselves as sexy, available wank-off fantasies. Some men do too. What I’m saying, is to not confuse things which have nothing to do with each other.

You may offer your body for public consumption, for the purpose of art, or for education, or to earn money. You do you. But also have clarity to ensure your own actions are not supporting the very things you speak out against.

And then please don’t turn around a few weeks later and protest about the ways women (or the media) use sex to sell things, or to provide entertainment. Don’t post a photo of another woman performing in a super skimpy outfit, and write a blurb despairing about the way she is tearing down everything women have worked for.

It is hard to be congruent when your pain body is driving the bus. So please, please continue to work on your own healing. Bring your saboteurs out into the light and transform them into allies. Use therapies that integrate the mind with the body, and spirit, so that your healing can integrate even to the cells and tissues of your wondrous, precious body.

Be relentless in your healing so you come to know even to your bones that You.Are.Enough.

You – wrapped in a thick parka with snot dripping off your nose and crusty eyelashes – You.Are.Enough.

Body surfing in a bikini with your kids or your best bud – with rolls of fat, squashed or saggy breasts and too much pubic hair – You.Are.Enough.

As I move through LIFE in all its shit, struggle, vibrancy, beauty, awe, stink, and exuberance… May the pictures of my unique, strong, beautiful, loyal, multifaceted body reflect my truth and complexity. My challenges and my triumphs. May they speak to the authenticity of my journey on this planet. My body is the densest part of my soul. May I revere and treasure it as such.